Pain & Failure

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

So this was supposed to be another recipe post. Unfortunately, it didn't work out quite like I had hoped. Often I will get a particular ingredient in my head and then create an entire dish around it. Sometimes, like last night, I can't get to sleep because I'm creating a recipe in my head. This morning I woke up sleep deprived with a foggy brain. All day long I felt like I was moving at the speed of a snail and I couldn't seem to get my coordination together. I listed to the right as I walked. (Side note: I ALWAYS list to the right if I'm going to list while walking. Never left. I guess I'm not an ambi-lister, much like Zoolander isn't an ambi-turner). I dropped things. I forgot important details. Oh, so not fun.

But the worst was one particular time I was getting our of my chair. Since I sit at the front desk due to lack of receptionist and being only female downstairs, everyone in the company feels like they have free reign to use everything in my desk. I normally don't mind and it's not a big deal, but today someone grievously injured me with their carelessness. After retreiving a pen from my drawer, they didn't close it all the way. I didn't notice, swiveled in my chair suddenly to make a mad dash somewhere (always making mad dashes), quickly stood, and slammed my thigh into the corner of the drawer. Now, these are metal drawers with some seriously sharp edges, so the pain was instantaneous and strong. I fell back in my seat in agony and praticed my Lamaze for future birthing scenes. You never really can get enough practice. After a few minutes I could finally see straight and was able to close the drawer and get up to make a slow crawl to my destination. It wasn't until an hour later that I discovered the damage: a long deep wound with blood all over my leg and a bruised lump the size of a tennis ball. With the amount of blood there was, I am so surprised it didn't go through my jeans. I can't believe how much I hurt myself these days.

Anyway, this evening I was going to make a dish for dinner centered around andouille, a cajun sausage. I had been jonesing for it last night and it was the source of my sleeplessness, so I was going to have to make it or I would not last another day at work. If I didn't get sleep tonight, I would hate to see what I would do tomorrow. Probably stab my eye out in some freak white board pen accident. I went to Safeway for the sausages and to pick up a few other things, but Safeway DIDN'T HAVE THE ANDOUILLE! Just kill me now. I decided to go with a Portugese sausage that I hadn't ever used before. Bad bad move on my part. Once I tasted it, I had to completely rework the recipe concept in my head to fit with the new flavor profile. I was able to do a few subsitutions, but the bulk of the recipe ended up staying the same. It was, in one word... gross. I still ate it because the majority of the ingredients were tasty, but that sausage was horrific. I am such a sausage girl and have never met one I didn't like (I don't mean that in the dirty way that just made me giggle inside), but this one was disgusting. I'm still gagging at the thought. Needless to say, I will not be posting this recipe. I do not wish for you to want to throw up your dinner.

Here's to hoping that tomorrow's a safe and tasty one...


Lisa said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels compelled to post about various and assorted stupid injuries, however, I would like to state that yours are always a lot more hilarious than mine.

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